Thursday 3/11/10

My room looks empty. I took everything of hers out. It reminds me that I am alone. I tried to take out everything...clothes, notes, cards, the ring we wore for two years. I thought it would make me feel better, the shock just made it worse. The realization of a permanent seperation. This one is sticking. She is not going to change her mind. Things won't magically get better. Nothing can save me. And I am alone. How do I move forward? I don't want to cleanse her from my life. Not yet. I need to do what's best for me but I'm in so deep I'm flailing. I don't know what that is. I hang on to the hurt and the pain because it keeps me connected to her. Because I'm not ready to let go. Be strong, please, be strong. Please. Be strong.