Saturday 3/13/10

She called me tonight, after her first day on her new job. She spoke the words I hoped and wished for. She doesn't want to get back together yet but she can't imagine not speaking to me again. She does see a future for us but she doesn't expect me to wait for her. All those characteristics she wanted in a girlfriend, the ones I couldn't give her are counter balanced by her feelings for me. My heart should be happy but my head says this is a ploy. We only want what we can't have and I told her we couldn't talk anymore. She lambasted me for asking questions about our break-up yesterday, until she realized I was serious about never talking to her again, then she broke down. I need to find out what I need, what is best for me. I don't want to get my heart broken again. She is happy in Arizona, not in New York, not on the East Coast. My head says this will never work. It could have, two weeks ago, but not now.